Christmas at Milford Command Central

So far, not my most productive Christmas season ever. I guess I figured once I no longer had a full-time non-writing job, I would suddenly have All The Time In The World. Not so. Generally, in order to keep the insanity and stress of managing a retail store through the holidays from permanently altering my brain chemistry, I:

  • Mail something like 60 cards
  • Bake something like 6 batches of gingerbread
  • Make and freeze 4 or so pie crusts
  • Make a few batches of jams and jellies from exciting things like quince and currant or something
  • Make homemade dog treats
  • Make several batches of candy or truffles
  • Knit 5 scarves for various aunts
  • Wrap it all very attractively
  • Mail it all late, but mostly before the 23rd

This year, I sent one of my best college friends a box that literally held two little gifts and a bottle of liquor, not wrapped at all and padded with–wait for it–plastic grocery store bags. Then I sent it to the wrong address. It has not surfaced, probably because it is too mortified to show up and be opened by its intended recipient. This was back in early November, and my holiday execution has pretty much gone downhill from there. Today I only managed to have breakfast because my friend Carrie sent me brownies a couple days ago. How do I have fewer obligations, fewer drains on my time, and yet somehow I am getting absolutely nothing done?

I suspect this is one of those things that just doesn’t have an answer. This year I think I just have to accept I am not a functioning adult. (This year, after all, I am a Professional Writer! Turns out that means more than just living out of pajamas and skilfully ignoring sinksful of dishes.)

Oh, well. Here’s hoping the two plum puddings still left in my fridge from last year (when, in October, I candied citrus peel, made homemade bread crumbs, and turned out no less than six plum puddings) have sufficient liquor in them to be edible on Saturday. I suspect they do. If there’s one thing I do right at the holidays, it’s sauce things with liquor. Anyhow, they’ll be steamed and set on fire before they’re eaten–that should kill any remaining microbes off. I think.

Happy holidays, everyone! May the insanity in your household be of the joyful kind.

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